Catching up

Ok, I know that I have been not keeping up with the happenings here. I will tell you why.....Does anyone remember dial-up connections? Well, imagine slower than that! It is at times painful (spoiled American!) Here is the update: I am now on Day 11 of bonding with 4 more to go. On Friday we can apply for a court date.~ first hurdle is coming up! It is funny how everything becomes a count down until you can go home. I have settled into life here, although not without kicking and screaming a bit. I am staying in a fairly comfortable apartment. It has two doors with so many locks that I can't even get in-no less anyone breaking in. That should make some people happy. Of course, I have to keep track of four keys! Anyone who knows me well would know how dangerous that is! Since I have a lot of time on my hands, I have made the following observations.....

The weather: Did I tell you how cold it is here? Ok, I probably did.... but I must say it again. It is really cold here! I snows all the time.... there is no such thing as snow removal..... and the temperature yesterday was -4F. Why didn't I decide to adopt from Guatemala? Well, what would be the adventure in that....
Traffic: I have yet to determine if there is any rules for driving. It is unknown if there is any painted lines on the road, because I haven't seen the actual road yet. However, it is doubtful. People here drive insane. Everyone is out for themselves on the road. No one follows lanes of traffic. I think this is a great place for a trauma center! One thing that you do figure out the first day is that pedestrians DO NOT have the right of way. Either you get across the street quickly or you are just out of luck. You must run across the street, on the ice to safety. I am not sure what would happen if you fell in the middle of the road... I don't want to be the one to find out!

Hats: People cannot get the fact that there are times that I do not wear a hat. They stare at me with disbelief~ kinda like I have lost my mind. On several occasions lately, they yell at me in Russian~ probably saying " stupid girl, where is your hat" I either smile at them or tell them in English " I am a grown woman and if I don't want to wear a hat, I don't have to" It is a no-win situation! People tend to stare at us alot... I am pretty sure that they don't know that it is not nice to stare. I usually just smile at them and go on my way.
Things to do: So far, I have gone to the circus and the ballet. So yes, I am not suffering that much! Well, I did have a mental breakdown recently. The isolation, exhustion, snow and lack of people to converse with in English can get to you. Luckily, I met another single who is a former East Coaster that has been a lifesaver for me~ thank you Kim. I will be forever in her debt. She is adopting a sweet baby with an awesome smile named Maya. We hang out for dinner, drink beer and commiserate about how much we miss being home. She is almost done her time here and has helped me get myself together. This a picture of Juliana and Maya hanging out~ probably talking about their new moms and how they need some help!
Juliana: My bright spot!!! She is sick and has been for a couple of days. It seems like a cold, which is all I hope it is. I don't like seeing her not feeling well. They don't let me visit her for long ~ only 30 minutes. That is the hardest part. The great news of today is she is out of her brace!!!! She is just so happy and curious. Lets hope she is better tomorrow.
Well, that is it for now. I just wanted to give you all an update on my time here.
Hope all is well at home......Keep those e-mails coming, I like hearing from everyone!

Thanks to everyone who has commented on my blog: I love reading them!!

До Свидания
Do Svidania
Good Bye

Why I am here...

We need to discuss why I am really here....my sweet Juliana. I started visiting her on Saturday. We are allowed 2 hours a day~ either in the morning or the afternoon (but not both). My time to visit is the afternoon. She is a very happy, content, laid-back little girl, and she has the best hair-do! Most times it sticks straight up~ we have nicknamed her punk rock baby. The babies are well cared for, but they have no one on one attention. That explains alot of their developmental lags. The caregivers are very loving, but very busy. A lot of the babies, at the start of visiting, cannot sit up by themselves, do not know how to play, do not crawl and are very good at self-soothing. It is amazing how the attention everyday of someone talking to them, playing with them and constantly holding them will accelerate their development in a short time.
During visiting, everyone sits in the playroom. This room is actually very nice with balls, toys, a slide and a circle filled with balls that they can sit in. However, all the families go in this room and visit with the babies. It can get very noisy and it is hard for the kids to focus on you. They are fascinated with everything around them. They have never had so much stimulus before. The time also goes by so fast, and then you just wait until the next day to be able to visit again.
Juliana is very petite. She is currently about 15 lbs. She is still wearing the brace, probably until next week. However, since I have been visiting her, she has started to crawl in the brace. That is a pretty good trick! She is very curious and alert to everything. She also has started to say da-da and become more vocal. It is true that they really start to progress and it is something to see it happen. As of today, I am on day 9 of bonding with 5 more to go before I can apply for court.
Must go for now...... I hope you like the pictures of punk rock girl!!!

Paka Paka
(Good Bye)

Update from Astana

I know it seems that I disappeared last week, but I did make it safely to Astana, Kazakhstan. I arrived last Thursday night and have been adjusting ever since then. I guess I should start from the beginnning..... Believe it or not, the most trouble I had with the flight was in Philadelphia. We sat on the runway for 3 hours while the plane was being de-iced~ what a great start to the trip here. When I arrived in Astana, I thought the weather was similiar to what I left in Phili. However, I couldn't have been more wrong about that. It is cold in both places when I left, but the cold here is at times unberable. It gets so windy, combined with the snow that blows around and the ice everwhere, walking is an amazing feat! Given the fact that if you want to go somewhere, you must walk to it, you tend to get over the danger of frostbite and falling really fast! I try to blend in with everyone else (the hair may give it away) with my babushka and long coat, but people can tell you are American. No one speaks English, so I have gotten really good at charades.
Anyway, I went to the baby house Friday morning and met with the director of the orphanage. Everything is discussed through an interpreter. A caregiver brought in Juliana (who's name is Aida) and my whole world changed. She was so tiny and beautiful~ very alert, taking everything in. I got to hold her for just a minute...then there was more talk in Russian and just like that she was taken away. It was nap time there and I would not be allowed to visit with her today. Ok, have a nice day. There is no bending of the rules, no questions, this is the way it is. It was at this point that I felt very alone, very overwhelmed and so exhusted. So fine, what do I do now until tomorrow? Not much......you are pretty much left on your own until someone picks you up for a visit. I did go to the grocery store and then went back to my apartment. I had no internet, no TV, a phone that I didn't know how to use or call out on, didn't know where I was and what was around me, couldn't read the street signs and there was no one to talk to and the city was covered in snow. I was kind of left to my own defenses without any map to help me through. I thought that this would be the worse 7 weeks of my life. Besides the fact that night was really daytime because Astana is 11 hours ahead of the east coast, so sleep wasn't an option.
There it is.... a summary of my first day here. Can't wait to hear more?!

LOI

When adopting from Kazakhstan, there is three initials that we all wait to get~ your LOI (letter of invitation).... These insignificant letters mean that we are given the OK to go. My agency called me yesterday to say that I have received my LOI~ my letter of invitation. I am expected to be in Astana on Friday morning... no later. WHAT?! It's Friday for goodness sake! I am not prepared for this. After months of waiting and waiting and waiting, I am leaving in 5 days! The tornado has been started! There is so much to do and prepare for. I am so sorry to all my OR and Trauma friends who planned the Connie Mac's get together~ I was so looking forward to it. However, the good news is that when I return in April, it will be starting spring and I will have the princess with me. She will hopefully be here in time for Easter!
In one week, I get to meet my baby girl. Wish me luck~ I am about to fly half way around the world into unfamiliar territory!
Next post will be from Astana, Kazakhstan.

Time Moves Along

Where is Kazakhstan anyway and how do you spell it!
Kazakhstan is a former soviet republic, located in between Russia and China. It is actually the 5th largest country in land mass. The city I am traveling to backs up to southern Siberia~ luckily it is the southern part!! Needless to say, it is really cold there right now. Maybe two weeks and counting.....There is much to do before I can leave.

The Story Begins

Since every story must have a beginning, I think I will start there. In just a few short weeks, I will become a mom. It feels weird to even say that. After years of infertility and disappointment, I never thought this day would come. Soon, I will be traveling to adopt a baby girl. So what inspired me to start on this roller coaster of a ride in the first place?
I have always wanted to be a mom, but my life path had not allowed me to see that dream through. I had a wonderful family, great friends, a good job and my life was really comfortable. However, I wanted something more. I started researching adoption in 2005, but thought I couldn't do it alone.The decision to be a single parent is overwhelming... was it fair to the baby, could I manage her and work, would I be a good mom? Then one day I passed by a sign that read " Don't let your fears become the boundaries for your dreams" and in that moment I realized that I needed to make the first step~ that I would handle whatever challenges I came across.
So, in December 2005 I started my homestudy and decided to adopt from Kazakhstan. I was drawn to this country for an unexplained reason. Maybe it could have been that I learned how to spell it and thought that was a sign! But really is was the care they gave to the children that was most significant. Kazakhstan has a mandatory bonding period that helps create comfort between child and parent. Taking a deep breath, I signed on with my agency ~ KidsFirst ~ in February 2006.
It is now a year later and I have been through more than I can ever describe~ massive amounts of paperwork (the dossier), multiple delays, lost pieces of the dossier, fingerprinting by many levels of the government- 4x in all, notaries (thanks to Miss Pat!), apostilling and the waiting and waiting that comes with this process. That is nothing compared to the emotional roller coaster that is ever present. However, as I am nearing the end of my wait and the start of motherhood, it was an experience that I would gladly go through again. It is just like a pregnancy~ only on paper! It is not an easy journey, but it prepares you for the years to come...
As I complete one part of my story, I am now preparing to travel to Astana, Kazakhstan in the next few weeks to meet my daughter, Juliana. I am anxious for all of you to make this journey with me. I read a quote somewhere that read " Leap and a net will appear." Well, hold on, I am about to jump!